excite the district leaders. ‘As long as the work on the statue is unfinished, keep an eye on Ashten. No matter what happens!’ Zhanaidarov himself once expressed his fears, and this was taken as an order. To avoid Ashten putting himself at risk on the town’s streets, it was decided that a bottle of pure wheat vodka would be secretly brought to him from the district committee’s cupboard, one every two days… So that no one would suspect anything, they began to carry the potion in bottles of Sary-Agach mineral water. But Ashten was Ashten: one time he took his dose of ‘mineral water’ and then went to a park, where he asked someone’s girlfriend to dance. She refused, which led to a scandal, and the scandal ended in a fight, so in the end Ashten had to have a ride in a yellow car with a blue stripe. When at the police station the police lieutenant began to fill in a form for Ashten’s fifteen-day arrest, Ashten squeezed his hand tightly and asked ‘Can I call the district?’ The lieutenant smirked: ‘Don’t you want to call the UN? Go ahead. Perez de Cuellar is in Cebu’s office right now. ‘I… I am… telling the truth…’ Ashten almost fell out of his chair, but managed to grab hold of the edge of the table. The senior lieutenant and the lieutenant looked at each other. ‘Shall I let him make a call?’ asked the lieutenant. ‘Let’s see what he has to say. We can have a laugh!’ He smiled and nodded. Ashten, wobbling on his feet, not without diffi- culty dialed four numbers, then coughed. The two policemen smiled merrily, enjoying the fun. Finally a bass voice came through the receiver: ‘The district committee’s duty officer speaking,’ he said clearly in the silence. ‘Hello… Duty officer… It’s me… Ashten,’ said the detainee. He was stammering, though he tried not to. ‘Who? ‘Ashten, Zheldybayev… Ashten… Statue… You know, the one they’re making the statue from… I’m the one… They want to put me in jail… Where? For fifteen days… Yes!’ Ashten turned to the lieutenants. They sat relaxed, smiling, not quite sure what was happening. ‘Address… What is your address?’ Ashten asked. They exchanged a glance. District police station. Every idiot knows this. Ashten smacked his swollen lips against the tube again. The district police station… They say every idiot knows… Ashten

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