OPERATION STATUE

I’ll jump off and go home,’ was Ashten’s way of expressing his stubborn nature. ‘Look out, the secretary of the Communist Party will be there too.’ ‘So what? He’s something for you, but he’s nothing to me. And what kind of a secretary is he if he couldn’t get a single statue built in all this time! Who needs a secretary like that?’ Ashten delivered a long tirade that struck fear and terror into the hearts of the instructors. After patting Ashten on the back, almost licking him, the men from the district committee left. Three cars arrived on the promised date and the distinguished foreign guests arrived. They were received with proper fanfare, accommodated in a special hotel, and served a fancy dinner… Both our and their leaders took the floor: the leader of the British delegation expressed admiration for the inventiveness of the Soviet people and their leaders, who had erected the first statue of a simple leather tanner, their great and tender love of history, their special attention and care for a simple working man, their love of art and refined artistic taste, and raised a toast to their health. Our side did not lose face either. The secretary of the regional committee in his speech noted that the statue erected here in honour of the unknown worker is a kind of sign that such a thing is possible only in a socialist society, and there is no such thing in capitalistic society; that he is extremely glad and proud that such a statue had been erected not just anywhere, but exactly in that part of the world where they were standing now; that statues can take the form of a bust or also show the lower part of a person. At this the English party applauded in unison and the representatives of the district committee looked at each other. He went on to inform the English guests that tomorrow’s programme would be too full and tight in terms of schedule, so the viewing had to take place today and would happen immediately after dinner. The English party began to argue that the viewing had been scheduled for the next morning, after breakfast, and that viewing the statue in the evening was, to put it mildly, a sign of ‘bad manners’, to which the district manager replied that it is a forced measure, otherwise they would not

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