so sorry for the old people, I myself do not want to grow old. I fear old age more than death. One old woman lived in our old apartment, probably in her youth she re- lied on her husband or children, you know the kind, one of those who hasn’t worked a day in her life, and now, she’s unhappy, she receives only twenty-nine rubles a month in pension. Just think, twenty-nine rubles! What can she do with that? Even if you spend one ruble a day, it won’t be enough for a whole month. One day I ask her: “Where are your children?” and she just waves her hand. They had all dispersed, here and there. And they forgot their old woman. When we moved, she cried… She often came to us to talk, reminiscing about her past life, about her youth. I now visit her in my spare time. She is so con- scientious, she does not even take gifts, she gets offended. I’m only able to bring meat and sugar during holidays or on the birthdays of her children. And then you know, recently… she started drinking. Probably from loneliness. It worries me, you see… Oh, how I do not want to grow old! You turn all grey, hunch over and be of no use to anyone. And I think I’m getting old… you know why? Because I started to feel that no one needed me. Perhaps only to my children, and even then, because they are children, and I am their mother. Little children… And then who else? My husband? Only as a woman. If I die, nothing will change in the world, the children will cry and stop, and when they grow up, they will forget. In return, another woman, just like me, will appear in this house. Compared to us, men are much happier. What, isn’t it true? Imagine yourself in their place. Here, take me for example… When Sar dies, I will remain single, for whom will I marry with two children, who will need me? Therefore, one must live without thinking, without going into these subtleties, then at least sometimes, it will be easier on your soul.” Bagila was scared. She did not know that a person was destined to think about this sooner or later, more over, during the month and a half that she lived in this house, Malika opened
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