that! The management will not understand anything about our successes! ‘Maybe we should send someone who looks like him. I mean, like a double,’ suggested the workman hesitantly, but after examining the director’s gaze he suggested nothing further. The director was anxious to ‘take urgent action’. ‘We need to get his teeth put in immediately, at least in the next three days. Where is our dentist?’ ‘Gone. For an internship in Alma-Ata.’ ‘When will he be back? ‘Well, he only left today. This morning.’ ‘Idiots!’ The director looked fiercely at his comrades-in-arms. ‘What a mess! Call in that Yerezhep, let’s hear what he thinks about this.’ Fifteen minutes later the director’s Volga took Ye- rezhep to his office. He entered the office and, as befits a senior worker, sat down on a chair. ‘How are the preparations for the performance going?’ the director asked. Yerezhep was silent. ‘I’m asking you!’ the director jumped out from behind the desk. ‘How is the performance?’ Yerezhep shuddered, as if awoken from a bad dream, and said: Halaso. At that, the tip of his red tongue flashed and dis- appeared into the darkness of his mouth. The leaders looked at each other as if they had just been informed of a terrible disaster. All right, you’d better be quiet and listen,’ the director sighed at length. ‘There’s a conference in three days where you have to speak. We’ll help you with the speech, but what about this…?’ he tapped his teeth with the nail of his index finger. ‘Look, we don’t have time to talk. I am going to make a call to the neighbouring state farm. Go there and have your teeth in place by tomorrow morning. Got it? That’s it. Take my car and go!’ Yerezhep shook his head. ‘What don’t you understand?’ The director was stunned. ‘You don’t want your teeth put in?!’ ‘I don’t want iron ones,’ said Yerezhep. ‘I want gold ones…’ ‘There is currently no gold in the state farm’s cash register for your mouth,’ said the director. ‘Go and get some teeth put in. Any teeth!’ Yerezhep rose from his chair and headed for the door, but the worker blocked his way. ‘Where are you going?!’ The director could hardly restrain himself from counting the rest of Yerezhep’s teeth. ‘Do you want to disgrace the state farm in the eyes of the district management?!’ ‘They’ll put the